♡ stronger ♡

Assalamualaikum, hey stalker. I guess you found me lol. This is where i express my feelings toward everything or anyone that i couldnt express it by talking/speaking. Instead of talking, i write everything that happens in my life in here.

Entries About Linkies Stuff



Base: Dilla Eyra
Header By : ~*Mary*~
Edited By: Adiba/Me



I'm sure my title for this post remind you guys of Ed Sheeran's song Photograph lol. Well tbh this post is relatively related to it, a bit (maybe lol). I know I'm a little late about it but wtv. I first heard this song thru radio i think when i was on my way back home not long ago. The first time I heard this song, i thought "wah, this is nice" and then i forget about it until recently my friend played this song over, over, over and over again non stop lol. So bcs of her, I'm now kinda obsess with this song. I don't know, it reminds me of something, the lyrics is just you know straight thru my heart. I went to youtube to watch the music video and shockingly i cried watching it. And i was like damn, why am i crying lol this is nonsense tho. Tbvh, the music video is beautifully made. It shows Ed Sheeran when he was a baby until he became a talented grown up man. So of course I cried lol. He is a very talented young man, he writes and composes a beautiful song that can easily make people cry instantly.

Listening to Photograph, i feel sad. Remembering that i only had two pictures of me and him makes me even more sad. Of all the years we went through, we only had two pictures of us. Isn't that sad? Lol. There's one part of the lyrics that got me like "damn!". " if you hurt me, that's ok baby only words bleed, inside this pages you just hold me, i won't ever let you go ." Thats totally explained myself though like, i don't care if get hurt, i just want him to want me like how i wanted him and of course there's no way i would let him go, like never. That's it. But i guess the fact that me loving him wasn't enough so its okay. Recently I heard that my so called "bff" introduced him to one of her uni friends. I'm okay with that, like totally okay bcs daa he's not even mine why should I be angry over it but you know I trust her so much with all my heart. She knew that i had a crush on him for a very long time and yet she introduced him to her friend. How could she do that, she is my bff. Well at the very least, have a little respect for me, i didn't ask for much though. This kind of friends aren't worth keeping lol that is so mean. Byeee



Why it has to be you?
I don't get it.
I tried--
So many freaking times.
And still--
You won't go away.
You're still there--
On my mind.

I am such a fool.
For thinking that maybe, just maybe you and i had a chance of being together. It was all a dream, that will never come true. This is my sad love story. It ain't perfect like yours but I'm glad that at least i have my own love story eventho it was far from perfect.

Over 10 years.
I lost my count on it, bcs i never thought that it would stay this long. This feeling, i never thought that it would go this far. I thought it was a one time love, but it turned out to be a long sad one-sided love.

First meet.
I remember it was on our first day of school in standard 1. I was walking to my class along with my father and then i saw you who was cleaning the board while talking to your friends. You looked at me in a flash and since that day, i would always watched you from afar. You might not remember it but to me, it was the start of my long sad one-sided love.

Gotta admit that you have the best-looking in our class and that's what attracts me. You were a sport's kid, you're attractive and everyone wanted to be you. You're perfect in my eyes, nothing less. You are the most attractive boy i've ever seen. Everything about you is good in my eyes.

I won't say anything nice about me. I am fat, ugly and got no self confidence at all. People had been looking down on me since my primary school. I had such a bad primary school memories. The kids in my class especially girls, some of them were looking down on me and they don't friends with me. I remember every single one of them. Aqila, farhana, hafifi.

The year full of fun and happiness, i think. We started talking and teasing each other in that year. Eventho we've been in the same class 2 years before but we didn't talked much. So, to me 2010 was the year of happiness bcs i get to talk to you and know more about you. It was a nice year, our friendship grows, between me and you, and with other friends.

I don't know about the ending, about our ending, about my ending, about your ending. But i hope, like really hope that it will be me and you in the end. InsyaAllah. I won't put my hopes high bcs i know in the end, if things turn out to be not like what we wanted, I will get hurt. I'll just leave it to Allah, He knows what's the best for me and you. InsyaAllah.

Ramadan al Mubarak!!


Tired. Exhausted. I'm so tired, both physically and emotionally.

Please move faster can you.

Yes sleep, i need you now.

I'm coming to you now.

I couldn't imagine how those poor people survived through Ramadan.
Even people like me, who had everything Alhamdulillah feel like dying, can you imagine how those people went through Ramadan? Without enough food and money to sahur/iftar.

So diba please, appreciate everything you have now without any complains. Cuz there are so many people out there who are in need of what you have now.

Ramadan al Mubarak everyone!!

New beginning


New year, new life, new spirit.
New memories but with same people around me or maybe some new people? Lol i don't know.

So basically in 2015 i want to accomplish all the things that i couldn’t accomplish last year. May Allah ease everything, May Allah always be with me, and May Allah shower me with his blessings InsyaAllah.

I hope 2015 brings me nothing but blessings and happiness InsyaAllah. It amazes me how time flies so fast. Like seriously it feels like it has only been last year that i sat for SPM but that was 3 years ago. Can you imagine that? 3 years flies just like that.

I miss everything. Everything. Mostly school. Not the school and homeworks lol but the atmosphere, friends, teachers. Sigh, how can time flies so fast? If i knew that i'm going to miss everything this much, then sure as hell i would've appreciate it more back then.

To my family, i love you guys so much. I promise you i'll be a good daughter, i will repay all the sacrifices you guys made for me, i promise. All i ever want in this life was for you guys to be happy and healthy. Please just wait for me, i'll comeback to you with a diploma in my hands InsyaAllah. To bestfriends/friends, i love you guys and thanks for being there with me thru ups and downs and please stay with me and never leave okay. To super crazy cuzzies, i love you and wait for me okay. Once i get my license, then we'll hangout together InsyaAllah.

Thank you Allah for everything you gave me in 2014. May Allah bless us forever, Amin.

Thank you Allah


Do you ever feel like you hate your ownself? Well, i am right now. Sometimes i wondered, how can someone has such a beautiful, happy and perfect life. I mean how, well i guess they're just lucky being born in that life. I gotta admit that i'm feeling insecure with them. Well, they got money, a beautiful face, nice body, boyfriend and here i am getting fat and fatter day by day. I wanna know how it feels being pretty and everyone loves you. I know i should be thankful of what i have today, but sometimes those thought came across my mind and i started to hate myself. Alhamdulillah, even though i'm fat and ugly, but as long as i have a beautiful and amazing people around me, that should be enough. I will start being thankful right now, Thank you Allah.

For you guys.

I have nothing to write actually....

Wait, i have a lot of things to write here but i just don't know where to start. I'm in semester 5 right now. Glad that soon i'll be a fresh graduate but somehow i don't want it to end. I mean, i love my student's life so much and i don't want it to end. I will not further in degree bcos some reasons and that's what makes me more sad. I got more than what they call friends in pkb. I got sisters and brothers all around me for almost 3 years and i don't want to lose them all. As i'm writing this, tears are slowly fall down. Shit ok shit. I didn't expected that it will turn out like this. We've been through so much, ups and downs we went, it's freakin freakin impossible if i don't feel sad leaving them. Guys, if any of you guys are reading this, i want you to know that you guys are the best thing that ever happened to me okay. Even though i'm such an asshole sometimes, please know that deep down my heart i love you guys to the bits. I couldn't survive my soon to be 3 years in kelantan without you guys. You guys taught me how to be independent. Let's make the best memories for the last 2 sem. Let's enjoy, have fun with each other, study smart and make our parents proud of us. Thank you korang. And yes today's entry are specially about you guys, dpm5a. Yana, anis, reen, shila, wawa, byna, aina, asira, fazira, isma, malathy, faiqah, syud, azani, yazsir, che, wan, rama, syawal.

Lagi sekali

Lagi sekali
Aku mimpi kau.

Aku tak faham la kenapa
Aku dah cuba lupakan kau
Aku dah cuba sehabis aku
Dan kau--
Masih lagi muncul.

Tolong la
Aku dah tak tahu nak rasa apa dah
Yes, i gave up on you
A while ago
But you keep coming back
In my dreams.
So now, you tell me
How can i give up on you.

Those memories of us
Laughing and teasing each other
God i miss you so much
Though i know you weren't mine
Not in past nor future.